


Earth Weddings Are Weird

by RosiePaw



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 15:22:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosiePaw/pseuds/RosiePaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Posted for <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/collections/mcsheplets_challenges">McSheplets</a> Challenge #57: Just in Time</p>
    </blockquote>





	Earth Weddings Are Weird

**Author's Note:**

> Posted for [McSheplets](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/mcsheplets_challenges) Challenge #57: Just in Time

Ronon didn’t remember much of his own wedding.  He remembered planning it with Melena, at least until their mothers took over.  He remembered the party _after_ the wedding.  But the ceremony itself was kind of a blur.  He didn’t find out until afterwards that his older sisters had placed bets as to which of them could get his attention and make him crack up first.  They’d all lost.  He’d spent the entire time staring at Melena and realizing that this thing they were creating was somehow larger than the two of them put together.  He felt a bit nervous and a bit scared and a lot amazed.  He’d hardly heard the officiant’s voice.  When it was Ronon’s turn to speak, his best buddy had to kick him in the leg to get him going, and then the only word that came to mind was, “Yeah!” so that’s what he said.  Melena blushed and everyone else chuckled and the officiant – who’d probably seen a lot worse in his time – continued the ceremony.

McKay looked a bit happy and a bit proud and a lot like he did just before his hypo thing caught up with him and he passed out.  Ronon wondered if Sheppard had thought to tuck any power bars in the pockets of his dress uniform.  Sheppard himself looked like a guy who was trying to pretend he didn’t have an absolute killer of a hangover, which Ronon happened to know he did.

Sheppard had turned up in Ronon’s room the night before with a bottle of whiskey.  Ronon had matched him drink for drink, silent as long as Sheppard was silent.  When Sheppard hit the talkative stage – and they’d been through enough offworld rituals together that Ronon already knew Sheppard _had_ a talkative stage – Ronon had contributed the occasional supportive grunt and continued to fill their glasses in tandem.  Eventually Sheppard’s lighter body weight caught up with him and he passed out.  Ronon had taken his team leader back to his own room, tucked him in and made damn sure to pound on his door early enough this morning that Sheppard had time to throw up, shower, shave, dress _and_ get some painkillers and coffee into him.

There wasn’t much Sheppard could do about his eyes, though.  Ronon bet he would have worn shades if he’d thought he could get away with it.

Keller looked kind of shining in her long white dress.  Teyla had explained that the white colour symbolized virginity.  That was a bit of a surprise to Ronon.  McKay wasn’t all that patient and Keller wasn’t all that shy.  When he’d said as much to Teyla, she’d glared at him and repeated the word _symbolize_.  This had deterred Ronon from asking what black was supposed to symbolize at an Earth wedding.  McKay was wearing black – a kind of suit called a tuxedo – with a white shirt.  It reminded Ronon of the clothes people had worn at Sheppard’s father’s funeral.  He thought it was odd to wear funeral clothes to a wedding, especially one’s own. 

With Keller in white and McKay in black, the wedding couple looked rather stark to Ronon’s eye.  He and Melena had worn green for life and blue for the sea and sky, red for passion and yellow for the sun.  Even Sheppard, who wore black as often as he could, had more colour on him today than the couple who were supposed to be at the centre of the celebration.

There was a good-sized crowd in the temple – the _church_.  Half of the building was filled with Keller’s family and friends from Earth.  McKay didn’t seem to know as many Earth people, at least not on terms such that he’d invite them to his wedding.  His sister was there, of course, and she’d brought her husband and daughter.  Some of the SGC scientists had flown in, including Carter.  

To make up the difference, most of the Atlantis contingent had been seated on McKay’s side of the church.  The team was there, of course, sitting up near the front just behind McKay’s sister and her family.  Teyla had brought Kanaan and Torren, who was being amazingly good.  Ronon himself had brought Amelia.

Zelenka, Miko and Simpson sat just behind the team, and behind _them_ were pretty much all of the Atlantis scientists and a surprising number of the military crew.  Ronon wondered if that had been Sheppard’s idea.  Maybe not.  After five years, a number of the military guys had come to respect and even _like_ McKay, perhaps more than McKay himself realized.

Hey!  Teyla didn’t need to elbow him in the ribs like that.  Ronon glanced at Amelia, sitting to his right, to see if he could score any sympathy.  Nah, apparently not.  Okay, so maybe his lack of attention to the officiant’s speech had been a bit obvious.  But Earth people always used more words than necessary, and their weddings were no exception.  The guy had been talking for a while and he was _still_ talking.  He was saying...

Ronon had survived seven years as a Runner.  He’d learned to grab every opportunity.  When he realized _what_ the officiant was saying, he didn’t hesitate.  He stood up.

“Yeah, I do.  Sheppard and McKay have been in love for years, or at least they _would_ be if McKay would buy a clue.”

Ronon sat down.  For one frozen moment, no one moved in the silent church.

What happened next beat movie nights all to hell.  Keller turned bright red and started yelling at McKay, at least until McKay’s sister launched herself out of her seat and started yelling back at Keller.  Keller’s honour guard – or whatever the woman was called – was screaming at the officiant. 

McKay himself seemed to be stunned speechless, which Ronon would have bet his best knife was impossible.  Sheppard, always better at actions than words, looked equally stunned – until he grabbed McKay by the lapels of his jacket and kissed him and _kept_ kissing him.  Most of the military members of the audience and some of the scientists started whistling and cheering.  Carter was doubled over laughing. 

The people on Keller’s side of the church mainly looked pissed off.  Ronon wondered if there was going to be a fight.  This being a wedding, he hadn’t brought his _full_ set of knives, just his dress set – all nine of them.

Zelenka appeared in the aisle, trailed by Lorne and a couple of Marines.  “That was well done,” he told Ronon.  “Thank you.  But perhaps we should escort Rodney and John out now?”  Ronon looked back towards the front of the church.  Hey, that was new.  For once the couple in question appeared to be oblivious of everything _except_ each other.  Zelenka was right – getting them off the battlefield would be a good tactical move.

Teyla, regal as ever, led the way down the aisle.  Ronon was close on her heels, followed by Zelenka, Amelia, Lorne, the Marines and Kanaan carrying Torren.  Sheppard _finally_ detached himself from McKay – or maybe the other way around, it was hard to tell – as the impromptu rescue party surrounded them.  Both men seemed a bit dazed, but they nodded when Ronon yelled, “Side exit!”  As the group began to move, Jeannie McKay Miller grabbed her husband and daughter and joined them.  Ronon stood aside to let them all pass so he could take their six.

By now Keller had retreated to her own family, along with most of the Atlantis medical personnel and a few opportunistically attentive Marines.  As Ronon watched, she caught his eye and gave him a nod.  She looked angry, disappointed and regretful but not, he thought, all that heart-broken.  She’d be all right.

Carter had taken charge of getting the Marines under control and out the front door of the church.  Miko and Simpson were attempting to do the same with the scientists.  This was the more difficult job, of course – Ronon remembered McKay explaining the phrase “herding cats.”

The person who seemed the most flabbergasted by the whole turn of events was the officiant, who’d apparently given up on trying to get someone to explain things to him and was just standing there shaking his head.  Which was strange, because _he_ was the one who’d asked if anyone knew of any reason why Keller and McKay shouldn’t get married.  Who _says_ things like that if they’re not ready to deal with possible responses?

Yeah, Earth was weird.  Ronon could hardly wait to get home to the Pegasus galaxy.


End file.
